Survivor is the word you’re looking for when describing Grace Sandra.
As founder of her Out Here Tryna Survive platform, which includes a podcast and social media brand movement, Grace has never been shy in sharing her raw stories of abuse, pain, and ultimate survival.
The dedicated mom of three has worn many hats over the years, including life coach, teacher, trainer, and writer, but the thread that combines them all is a fierce love for trauma survivors, particularly black women. A survivor of trauma herself, Grace has made it a mission to help as many women on their healing journey as possible.
As a speaker, teacher, and mentor to Black college & university students over the years, Grace found that her gift and calling are to share her personal story of resilience and bravery in the midst of trauma.
N’DIGO recently sat down with the passionate activist and advocate to learn more about her story and calling to be a beacon of hope for many others.
N’DIGO: In your own words, who is Grace Sandra?
Grace Sandra: I am, above all things, a mom. I am an advocate for Black women. I am a mental health advocate and activist. I am someone who deeply cares about the problems in this world. I am a loving individual who is generous to a fault.
What are three words family and friends would use to describe you?
Empath. Gracious. Silly.
Your biggest motivation is…
I feel like it’s almost cliche to say, but my children really and truly are my biggest motivation. There were times when I was at my lowest, that if I didn’t have my kids, I don’t know how motivated I would’ve been to survive. I know how sad that sounds, but it’s true. My babies are my reason.
As a child, what was the job you dreamed you would do as an adult?
For a while there, no one could tell me I wouldn’t be a model. I did model for a bit as a kid, and during that time, I couldn’t imagine anything else. I had a traumatic childhood and didn’t really have fame or money aspirations for it, sadly. I didn’t think I’d live that long for a lot of my childhood so I thought I’d model for a little while, and then I probably won’t live past 25 years old.. Thank God I was wrong!
Please tell us about your podcast and brand, Out Here Tryna Survive?
Out Here Tryna Survive is a platform that I started to help provide resources and coaching for black women, in particular poor black women, who are undergoing trauma and abuse, with an emphasis on abuse at the hands of a narcissist. That was how it started. I soon decided to focus more on the healing journey of black women. We still talk about the abuse and trauma women face daily, but the idea of helping black women come home to ourselves is the energy I’m into right now.
So on the podcast, I share A LOT of personal stories. I try to be honest and let people know none of us are perfect. The healing journey can be rocky with lots of turbulence. I can still be a f— up. I am not some big motivational speaker. I don’t have it all figured out. Make no mistake about it. I’m still in the trenches with you. I’m still trying to figure it out, too.
Please also tell us about your book, Grace, Actually: Faith, Love, Loss & Black Womanhood?
My book is a brutally honest collection of essays, poems, and previously posted blog posts that are equal parts vulnerability, transparency, and petty, I celebrate the power of faith in overcoming a decade of losses in life and love as a black woman hellbent on survival. I explore themes of black womanhood, love, loss, love addiction, #MeToo, and racial identity.
Can you talk about the importance of advocating for Black Women?
When I was about eight years old, I decided that I especially cared about black women. It feels like it’s just always been a part of who I am. Then, when I was about sixteen, I had a very defining moment when my boyfriend at the time pushed me to the ground in my driveway. It was a jarring moment, and as terrified as I was lying in that driveway, I remember thinking to myself that if I survived the situation that I was going to help other black women who are enduring abusive situations like the one I found myself in.
With all that you do, how do you maintain your mental health and actively participate in your self-care and wellness?
I simply prioritize it now. I don’t think I would have survived if I had not made it an absolute priority after my abusive marriage was finally ended in 2020. After enduring that I knew I had to focus on taking better care of my mental health. This also happened to coincide with me starting menopause. I’ve also made extreme changes to my diet. My time is another thing I’ve reclaimed. I’ve made an effort to prioritize mindful activities like getting outside walking, meditation, and reading. I’m also going to therapy and being responsible about staying on top of my antidepressants and anxiety medication. I just don’t play around my mental health.
What’s something people would be surprised to know about you?
That I used to be a minister. I still love and believe in God. Still really try to follow God’s principles….just not the Christian nationalist ones. Also, I’m sure people would be surprised to know I think that if Jesus were alive today, Jesus would be a disabled black trans woman, and people would hate her and try to kill her.
Best advice to aspiring writers?
As a writer who doesn’t find time to write much anymore, my best advice is to make a routine of writing, even if it’s just fifteen minutes a day. Or even do speed writing during commercial breaks! Just write.
Favorite quote or affirmation?
Anything to do with hope is my favorite. I have a tattoo on my hand just because there have been so many times when I wanted to give up. I’ve had suicidal ideation, like literally my whole life, on and off. And just holding onto the idea that there’s always hope or that there is joy around the corner, no matter how terrible things may seem, I feel, is such a good reminder.
What’s next for Grace Sandra?
I’m looking forward to growing the podcast and continuing to build the community for sure. I’m also gonna find the time to write a bit more. Gotta get these ideas out of my head and on paper.10 minutes a day. I can do it! I have one book published on Amazon, and I’d like to self-publish more, but be traditionally published as well. And somewhere down the road, I’m going to make my way back to speaking because I love it so much!
For more information on Grace Sandra and Out Here Tryna Survive, please visit www.outheretrynasurvive.com.
