This was a different kind of Christmas /holiday season for me. My mother Mildren Bowden, made her living transition on December 12, 2022. She was funeralized on December 22 at the Apostolic Church of God. Everyone was superb, from the fire department ambulance and the doctors at Northwestern Hospital to the Leak & Sons Funeral Homes (Spencer Leak). The entire family worked with me to make sure all was well. My friends, and my ministers, have all been just stellar. My sister, Melody Spann Cooper, Reverend Jeanette Wilson, and Mr. Augustus Cage have held my hand. Reverend Will Hall, a young minister, ensured I did everything right. Rev. Marvin Hunter sat with me in the hospital. They have been my precious loved ones. Nothing like a good friend rising to your occasion.
My mother, Mildred, lived to the beautiful age of 101 and a half. She was a handful. Firm, focused, determined and spiritual are traits that describe her personality.
My mom loved a good home-cooked meal and often invited her friends (and mine) to dine with her. She thought it was the greatest compliment you could provide. She loved celebrating birthdays, graduations, weddings, new babies, and job promotions. She was a great provider and was wise. She impacted many with her wisdom and social grace and at church with spiritual advice and affirmations. She loved children and had a magical way with them. She was fashionable, always dressed in the latest but would tell you; you must learn what works for you – color, length, and cut of clothing. She was a shoe horse.
I gave my mother a birthday party during the height of Covid-19. It was an auto parade with about 300 cars in front of our home, and the entire neighborhood participated. It was a wonderful celebration, complete with balloons, cake, champagne, and a trio in the front yard that provided live music. A TV crew even came, and her 100th made the news. I am so glad that I gave this party and it was the best. Her last party was quiet, with a small dinner at home with loved ones. It was a very quiet day as she made 101. She was different.
My mother was healthy, all of her life. She took good care of herself with quality food and medical attention and, in her later life, started water aquatics. She was fun-loving. She was born in 1921 when there was a pandemic of influenza, where globally, 675,000 people died. Ironically, she died during the Covid pandemic. During the course of her life, she saw 19 presidents in the United States, from Warren Harding to Joseph Biden, and voted in every election. She was extremely healthy. She died with no ailments, no disease. She died of old age, where life just stopped. Her living was complete. Her life culminated.
I am her only child. Her family was her making. She was a grand aunt to Paula, Charles, Michelle, Lisa, Alice Tia, Cheryl, Lynn, Philoneise, and Felicia. At the ripe age of 85, she began to prepare us for her departure. I was told that I would have to assume chef duties because she no longer had an interest in cooking.
But the big announcement was about Christmas dinner. She said I need to show you girls (me, Michele, and Lisa) how to make Christmas dinner. Patiently she showed us diligently how to prepare her signature dishes. I flunked the course, but the baby of the family, Lisa, passed with flying colors. She had about three years of training, tasting, and preparation before she finally got, just like Auntie. The meal is now hers. But trust me, no matter how prepared you are, you are never ready for death. She was tender and kind, but there was no nonsense in her living.
Mildred Bowden was purposeful. She gave it to you honestly and straight and wasn’t the chit-chat or gossip girl. Goal-oriented, she lived a pattern of success, was a great listener, and was very disciplined. She believed you should start your day with focus and intent. Meditating daily, she would quote affirmations and make you repeat them after her. She believed in prayer at night to thank God for her day. She was expensive and said, “When you buy cheap, you pay more in the long run (because you have to buy it again) because it might not last.”
My life has been charming, thanks to my mother. I have known no life aches. I have watched her and learned more than I will ever tell. Christmas dinner was different this year. Lisa, Michele, and Tia prepared a wonderful meal. We miss her but were determined not to miss family dinner, as per her instruction. Her tradition will be carried forward. New Year’s Eve was quiet time, reflective, and prayerful rather than party time. Together we usually talked about next year on New Year’s Day with black eye peas and cabbage for dinner.
I always knew she would leave us around Christmas time because it was her favorite time of year. People naturally die around their birthdays and holidays. She lived a prosperous life and I am filled with memories and life lessons. I took care of my mother wonderfully, and I tell others about the experience. I think everyone should take care of their parents as best they can.
I feel good about life and move forward with a great spirit because of her guidance and example. There is an adjustment. I have had sleepless nights, brain freeze, lonely feelings, and crying spells. I have been quite blessed to have a magnificent mother and to have her for so long. God blessed us both.
My mother saw me in three different careers and saw me receive numerous awards. She was very much incorporated into my life, and we shared with friends and family.
She always said death is very much a part of life and living. Her rule was never to leave the house or go to bed angry because you may not return or wake up.
She believed in good food to nourish your body, and eating junk food didn’t make sense to her.
She believed in celebrating yourself and your loved ones. Have a toast to yourself. Drink a little wine, and nothing like a good cognac on a cold night. During the period of Covid, she made me agree to brandy once a week to boost my immune system.
My mother would often talk about the soldiers in World War II.
She lived fully and by her own rules and was a Chicagoan from the South Side.
At the end of her funeral service, my friend Derrick Harris offered the female attendees a red rose. How appropriate. A red rose at the end symbolizes her life.
Mildred Bowden lived a full life, and I am most proud to be her daughter.
