Be true to who you are.
How stressful is it when you’re trying to fit into someone else’s ideal of you? In my case, being an extroverted introvert. I am always being invited to great events and I am involved in various activities because I have a variety of interests. Most of the time though, my ideal evening consists of Chinese food and Dateline. I used to say YES to everything and end up canceling, not showing up, going and being miserable or just making up some elaborate excuse. It would stress me out! I had to get to the point where I was comfortable saying NO, I can’t make it. I know that I need at least 1-2 weekends per month to do nothing and I am ok with that. I also get moody every now and then. I used to try to hide it because I love being Ms. Positivity, but that’s not the whole picture. Now, if I feel down, I reach out to those who I trust that can help me pull myself out of it.
Be committed to your growth.
In my humble opinion, there is almost nothing more unattractive than a person that has no idea who they are… and further, has no interest in finding out. Life is all about learning and growing and if you’re not self-aware, it’s almost impossible to do that. Ever run into someone you haven’t seen for years and they are on that same… you know what? You are here on this earth for a reason. Figure out what it is and work on it. What are your flaws? We all have them. Commit to recognizing and understanding yours and possibly turning them into strengths. Or, at the very least, being aware of them.
Live in alignment with your purpose.
When you know what your purpose is and try to live in that, everything you do has meaning. You are no longer sleepwalking through life because you are embracing your own authenticity. Nothing is more attractive than that because there is no one else on this earth that is like YOU. I enjoy doing the most random things and I don’t care what anyone thinks about it because my hobbies truly bring me joy. When you are doing what you love, others sense that joy in you and are drawn to it. People (and the Universe) want to give you more of that which brings you joy because you are operating in such a unique way; they just want to be around it.
Create a value system for yourself
There was a time in my life when I used to lie. A lot. I was in a bad relationship and to tell the truth about anything usually led to an argument. I also lied to avoid getting hurt and because I was concerned with saying what I thought others wanted to hear. I remember telling a man that I cared about that I wasn’t looking for a relationship; that I just wanted to have fun and date. I wanted the exact opposite of that, but I was afraid I’d scare him away with talk of a committed relationship. He ended up meeting someone else and eventually proposing to her because I told him I wasn’t looking for anything serious and he actually was. I was devastated but it was my own fault. I came to the conclusion that I was going to try to always tell the truth – no matter what. It feels good to have a line that I won’t cross; in terms of honesty and a number of other things.
Let go of relationships and situations that do not serve you.
There is almost nothing that causes you to be more stagnant than aligning yourself with people and situations that do nothing to enhance your quality of life. After my divorce, I made it a point to surround myself with like-minded people. I have a friend that I can talk to about anything and not only does he listen and really hear me, but he always has a suggestion or a new perspective that I hadn’t thought of. He knows what to say when I’m down and he motivates and inspires me. That is priceless and when you have several people in your life that can do that for you, you can’t help but be the best version of yourself.
Know that you are completely responsible for the way you experience your life.
People and situations will come into your life and sometimes you have a level of expectation for how things will play out. When things don’t go according to plan, you have to know that you will sometimes need to adjust your expectations and/or not have any in some cases. You can’t blame your friends, coworkers, relatives, etc. for your experiences. Take control of your life and the way you respond.
Help others live their best lives.
There is no better way to grow than to help others grow. There is also no better feeling than to be around someone that is chasing their dream or pursuing their passion. When you become the person that helps them do that, you are operating on a certain frequency and this will only help propel you into the same space.